Sleepin on a bench 😴
A newsletter about my rite of passage.
What’s up man.
A few weeks ago in Fighting to Your Last Breath I told you the true story of James Marshall’s first speech at The 21 Convention in 2011, and my own subsequent adventure in 2012 bringing The 21 Convention live event to three continents in the same 6 month window.
It was a major level up for me as a young man and one of the most difficult years of my life at that point - but it was hardly the first.
What James and I each went through in our own respective journey’s was a rite of passage, or one stepping stone on that path. James being able to weather that storm is one of the main reasons he has my enduring respect.
Speaking for myself, I probably wouldn’t have referred to these events as a “rite of passage” back then. I was familiar with the concept for a few years by that point thanks to the early PUA manosphere, but when you’re in the thick of it (and that young) you’re not focused on abstract ideas like that.
You are the man in the arena. Survival and victory are all that matters in that moment.
2008 was a rough year. I was a few weeks shy of 20 years old, just held the 2nd ever “Under 21 Convention” and my best friend died of bone cancer days after the event at 21 years old.
Not quite young enough to be heinous like a small child dying, but still young enough to be a profound and unexpected tragedy. His death devastated his family then and now.
The 2008 event was a success in that we had a good attendee showing, but I had overspent by a couple thousand and only raised the ticket price from $40 to $100. [The first 2007 event by comparison had turned a small $100 profit, just breaking even].
Back then we didn’t sell tickets online, it was cash at the door only. You reserved a ticket by literally emailing me an RSVP to the event with your name, and then I would hope dudes showed up.
Well most of them did but the flake rate was higher than 2007.
Fuck.
A few thousand bucks isn’t a lot of money, but at (almost) 20 this debt was crushing. It felt like a million dollars and I had no idea how I was going to repay it.
That business problem tied with the death of Curtis was brutally depressing. Curtis unfortunately never got to attend The 21 Convention due to his battle with cancer, but he was entrepreneurial minded to the bone.
Growing up we did all kinds of odd jobs together. Washing cars, waxing boats, laying mulch down for people’s yards, collecting scrap aluminum and selling it after hurricanes, etc. Always a job to find.
Curtis was also a natural leader, alpha male, and “player” as we called it in those days The number of women present at his memorial was absurd. There were literally over 100 women mourning his death there, every single one of them had either fucked him or at least made out with him.
He had found the PUA community novel and interesting with The Game, but he had trouble understanding why anyone needed it. Women were remarkably easy for him to influence.
I mention this because had Curtis not died, I could have seen him playing a significant role in 21 Studios. A role that never got to materialize.
I would go on to claw my way out of that 2008 event debt and build the 2009 event, the first official 21 Convention without the “Under” modifier. It was now for all men, not just young men.
Due to the 2008 problems I was concerned the event wouldn’t turn a profit or break even again, but I was wrong. I raised the price to about $225, expanded the event to 4 days long, charged for tickets online using Paypal, and for the first time ever we had over 100 men show up.
You can still watch the trailer here.
The event turned a profit of several thousand dollars and all was well. At 20 going on 21 this was a nice rebuff to the 2008 issues.
Leading us to 2010… sleeping on a bench, stranded in Europe, at my wits end.
In early 2010 I had failed “How to Start a Business” now for my second time in a row at college. I was the only student who attended every class (which was optional), and the only student both semesters to actually run a business. Something the professor was well aware of, as the school paper had featured me several times and sent reporters to the events.
He didn’t care. I missed a quiz, instant fail, no exceptions. The only class I had ever failed in my life (again).
Okay cool bro.
Four years in, how about I just drop out of college and expand my business to Europe?
I did just that. I walked out of UCF - the third largest university in the country at that point - and never looked back.
A short while later I announced that The 21 Convention was heading to Europe. Stockholm Sweden specifically, the only city and country where I knew someone who could help out (one of the 2008 speakers in fact).
Ticket sales sucked at first. Event was set for mid June. By the start of May I was like fuck, do I need to cancel this?
I decided “Na, that’s gay”.
So I spent what little money I had buying a one way ticket to Stockholm - I couldn’t afford round trip - not having a clue how I was going to find a venue, sell enough tickets, fund the event, film the event, and then get home.
Only to do it all over again with The 21 Convention 2010 of Orlando Florida held at the end of July that year, about 6 weeks after the European event.
By purchasing a one way ticket to Europe I had locked myself into this course of action. There would be no retreat, no surrender for The 21 Convention and for me.
It was victory or death.
The amount of funds I was short was staggering at that age. Even in Sweden, feet on the ground, it was not clear how this obstacle was even possible to overcome.
I had not one, but two 21 Conventions barreling down the wheel of time right at my face, not even close to being able to fund one much less both. Back home in Florida I had my roommate pawning what little possessions I had to make rent - gold and video games mostly.
With what little funds I had left, I tried Facebook advertising specific to Sweden. Spent two tickets worth of advertising, got zero sales. Fuck.
Never trying that again.
While I’m staying at the house of a speaker in Stockholm (a huge help) now I barely have enough money to eat.
I give a speech to the local PUA lair in Stockholm. It was a good showing, I still have the video recording somewhere.
If you recall from Fighting to Your Last Breath the PUA era of the manosphere had an underground, world-wide lair system for meet ups. The Stockholm lair was the biggest in the country.
After the speech I head out with the PUAs to hit on Swedish women. Right off the bat I luck out and start making out with a chick in front of about 10 of them.
Now I am a god among men.
“Wow. This American guy is the real deal.”
A couple tickets sold.
This gives me an idea. Still in serious danger, I use the new ticket money to buy the cheapest flights and train tickets across Sweden and Europe.
The plan is basically a speaking tour to the lairs across Europe, meeting men face to face, and new speakers I could make promotional videos with.
First a train to Gothenburg Sweden (the 2nd biggest lair in Sweden), then a flight to Amsterdam, then a flight to Munich Germany, then a train to Vienna Austria, then a flight back to Stockholm to finish preparing the event.
This was all announced and setup in a rush. Truly, my last stand.
If this didn’t work, I was fucked.
My speech to the Gothenburg lair was well received. The audience was about half the size of Stockholm.
On my way out of Gothenburg my flight wasn’t until the next morning. Couldn’t afford a hotel, couldn’t find a hostel I could afford in time. Shit I could barely pay for a taxi to the airport or street food that night.
I had nowhere to go, no where to sleep that night, alone in Europe. So I slept on a bench. 21 years old, just a few weeks out from a major make or break moment in my life.
What are most 21 year old American men doing? Well, probably not sleeping on a bench in bumble fuck nowhere Sweden chasing dreams.
I wake up on time, grab a ride to the airport, catch a few more hours of sleep inside once they open at 6am. Off to Amsterdam I go.
I crash with a speaker in Amsterdam for the week, working on the event, preparing my speech for the local lair. As in Sweden the local PUAs are friendly. I take a few tours of the town, including the infamous red light district.
Ironically I didn’t bang any hookers even though the PUAs offered to pay. I was trying to avoid that in life, little did I know I would go on to marry one…
The speech goes well, the audience is in the middle size wise between the Stockholm and Gothenburg lairs I had seen in Europe up to that point.
Off to Munich Germany I go by train.
By this point word was spreading to the lairs in advance that I was doing a speaking tour.
My time in Munich was brief but memorable. I took this photo of a major park. I remember walking around, people openly smoking weed, making out in public all over the grass. Growing up in Florida I had never seen anything like this in my life.
Orlando Owen and Bad Boy from The Game joined me for my talk in Munich. The local lair was unlike anything I had ever seen in my life, leagues beyond anything in America or elsewhere in Europe up to that point.
These mother fuckers were German to the bone. Over 200 men showed up to the free one night summit with me, Orlando, and Bad Boy. These men were *perfectly* organized and orderly down to the last table, chair, snacks, and fruit punch bowl.
They lived up to their reputation as Germans. There was no equivalent to this with any lair in America I had ever even heard of much less seen.
The more I spoke, the more tickets came in. Meeting men face to face makes an impact.
I wasn’t in the clear yet though.
Off to Vienna Austria I went. The train ride was movie-esque beautiful This was going to be a quick visit, barely 24 hours before I flew out back to Stockholm to lock down a venue.
The Austrians were similar to the Germans, well organized. About 80 men showed up on short notice. Less than in Munich but vastly larger than anything in Sweden or America I had ever seen for a lair meet - which would usually top out at 30-40.
Bad Boy joined me in Austria as well, helping boost the turn out numbers way up due to his mentions in The Game. We had lunch after when I took this picture.
Vienna was gorgeous. Cities like this were alien to me growing up in Florida.
It left a primal impact, as I had recently learned that my maternal grandfather was born in Vienna. This was news to my family but that’s what his birth certificate said plain as day from digging around my grandma’s house.
In a way, that city is where I came from.
Back to Sweden I fly.
I’m still short on funds, no venue secured yet, but everything else is aligned for the 3 day 21 Convention in barley 2 weeks.
Desperate, I make a final plea to the newsletter. I tell them the blunt truth. If we don’t sell enough tickets ASAP The 21 Convention is doomed. Dead as a doornail.
Guess what happened.
Over 20 tickets sold to the Sweden and Florida events during the next 48 hours. Between that and the ticket sales generated by the Euro-lair speaking tour, it was enough.
I lucked out on the Sweden event venue. One of the places I contacted was a 2 story office building with a sizeable conference room. Big enough for our needs, and they were closed Friday-Sunday, perfect.
The price?
$500 USD.
Not per day, and not even for the room, for the entire building all weekend long.
I was in shock. The dollar was strong vs. their money, but still, this was nuts. Far less than I anticipated.
And so The 21 Convention 2010 of Stockholm Sweden popped off without a hitch.
In fact speeches from the event racked up a few million views, especially this one from Richard La Ruina at 930k.
After the event I bought a flight home to Orlando, victorious, and having seen a nice chunk of Europe.
The 2010 Orlando event was difficult but I made it work. After the Stockholm event I felt that I could do anything. My confidence - recently at rock bottom, on the ropes - had skyrocketed.
As a young man I had to throw everything and the kitchen sink at these twin events to make them work.
In the end I won. Having dropped out of college, I had successfully expanded my business from strictly an American/Florida event to having a foothold in Europe. Men were now expecting future 21 Conventions in Europe, and sure enough I would soon build two more in London (2011 and 2012).
Later on I would bring The 21 Convention back to Europe, in Warsaw Poland (2019) before the COOFID apocalypse.
Men today lack a formal rite of passage. The totality of this experience in 2010 though, was a major milestone for my own rite of passage. One of several to come.
It’s up to you to create or find your own rite of passage into manhood today. No one is going to hand one to you.
I carved my own path through reality, a straight line like a laser, and you should too.
There were a lot of ups and downs to this experience I glossed over. This was fucking hard. Many men would have cracked under this much pressure, especially this young and inexperienced. This was extreme pressure and uncertainty to face down at this age, for months on end, with no clear path to victory.
Yet I found one, and some of the hero in my own soul.
/s/ Anthony Dream Johnson